7 daily habits that are better for your relationship than a grand gesture

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In the movies, love looks like grand gestures — sweeping someone off their feet with a passionate kiss in the rain or surprising them with a trip to Paris. 

I used to believe that was what love was all about, and I poured my heart into these blockbuster moments, wondering why my relationships still felt like they were missing something. 

It took falling into a truly loving relationship to realize that the real magic isn’t in the grand gestures — it’s in the everyday habits. After all, relationships are made of the daily moments. 

Here are 7 simple, daily practices that have transformed my love life and could work wonders for yours too.

1) Say “I love you” every day

It’s a phrase that we’ve all heard so many times, it’s easy to forget just how powerful it is. In my past relationships, I thought that saying “I love you” too often might dilute its meaning. 

But now, I’ve come to realize the opposite is true. Saying “I love you” every day doesn’t make it mundane; it reinforces its importance.

In my current relationship, we make a point to say those three little words every day. 

Whether it’s before we go to sleep, after a long phone call, or just out of the blue — each time feels like a small, yet purposeful, reaffirmation of our love for each other. 

These daily declarations have made our bond stronger, serving as a constant reminder of the love that forms the bedrock of our relationship.

So, if you’ve been holding back from saying “I love you” daily, let those words free. You’ll be amazed at how this simple habit can deepen your connection.

2) Listen actively

Sometimes, the most meaningful expression of love is simply listening — really listening — to your partner.

In my past relationships, I thought I was a good listener. But I’d often find myself just waiting for my turn to speak, my mind formulating responses rather than truly hearing what was being said. 

Now, I’ve learned the art of active listening, which means being fully present in the conversation and really engaging with my partner’s thoughts and feelings.

The difference it’s made is staggering. I’ve found that just the act of listening can diffuse arguments, solve problems, and bring a deeper level of intimacy into our relationship. 

It’s a daily habit that requires little but gives much, strengthening the emotional bonds that are the real fabric of a lasting relationship.

So next time your partner is speaking, put down your phone, look into their eyes, and really listen. It’s a small habit that makes a massive difference.

3) Physical touch

In the whirlwind of life, it’s incredibly easy to let physical touch take a backseat. We get busy, stressed, or preoccupied, and suddenly realize we haven’t even hugged our partner in days. 

I’ve been there, believing that as long as we were together, the physical aspect would just take care of itself. I was wrong.

Now, in a healthier relationship, I understand that physical touch is a daily habit that deserves attention. It doesn’t have to be anything elaborate — a hug, a kiss, or even a brief touch on the arm as you pass by each other in the hallway can go a long way. 

These simple acts are like small deposits into the love bank of your relationship, and they add up — especially if you or your partner’s love language is physical touch.

For us, this physical connection acts like a silent language, communicating love, comfort, and a sense of being cherished. 

And let me tell you, it does wonders for keeping the emotional intimacy strong.

4) Be thankful

I used to focus so much on the big milestones — anniversaries, holidays, and special occasions — that I’d overlook the small, daily things that made my relationship wonderful. 

I’d take for granted the cup of coffee made for me in the morning or the dishwashing done when I was too tired. 

It wasn’t until I began practicing daily gratitude that I realized how much these small acts truly meant.

Now, every day, I make it a point to thank my partner for the little things he does. Whether it’s a simple “thank you for cooking dinner” or “I really appreciate you listening to me vent about my day,” acknowledging these actions has had an incredible impact on our relationship.

Being thankful isn’t just about good manners; it’s a form of love. It shows your partner that you notice and appreciate their efforts, no matter how small. 

And when you both feel seen and valued, it creates a positive cycle of love and gratitude that uplifts both of you.

5) Quality time

In past relationships, I believed that spending time together, any time, was enough. Whether we were watching TV, scrolling through our phones, or doing chores, I thought that as long as we were in the same room, we were “connecting.” 

It took me a while to realize that not all time spent together is quality time.

Now, in my current relationship, I see the importance of setting aside moments where we can genuinely connect — no distractions, no to-do lists, just us. 

It might be a simple walk in the park, a date night at home cooking together, or even a deep conversation over a cup of coffee.

I’ve found that it’s during these times that we’re able to delve deeper into each other’s lives, sharing thoughts, dreams, and concerns. 

It reinforces why we fell in love in the first place and keeps that emotional connection strong.

So, make it a daily habit to carve out even just a few minutes for some real, undistracted quality time. It’s not about the quantity of time, but the quality that truly enriches your relationship.

6) Celebrate achievements

How often do you celebrate your “wins” — as an individual, and as a couple? Better yet, do you know what your wins are?

If you’re like I used to be, you might think that only the “big wins” were worthy of celebration — things like promotions, milestones, or special anniversaries. 

But actually, the smaller victories are just as important in the grand scheme of a relationship. 

If my partner accomplishes something at work or overcomes a personal challenge, I make sure to acknowledge it and celebrate it in some way. It could be as simple as cooking their favorite meal, writing them a heartfelt note, or simply offering words of affirmation and praise

This habit has a twofold effect. First, it makes my partner feel loved and valued, knowing that I’m their biggest cheerleader. 

Second, it brings a sense of joy and positivity into our relationship, creating a happier and more supportive atmosphere for both of us.

Remember, when one person succeeds in a relationship, both succeed. 

7) Keep the spark alive

I used to equate grand romantic gestures with keeping the “spark” alive in a relationship. The lavish gifts, surprise getaways, or extravagant date nights felt like the ultimate expressions of love. 

But what I didn’t realize was that these big moments were just that — moments. They were fleeting, and while wonderful, they didn’t sustain the emotional connection that day-to-day intimacy does.

How do you keep the fire going? That’s highly individual for each couple — but what’s for sure is that it takes time and attention.

You might set aside some time to just cuddle, explore your bodies again, or talk about new things you could try together in bed. 

Another idea is to get a new sexy outfit — or perhaps even an accessory.

And lastly, the spark isn’t just about the bedroom — make a habit of trying new things on a regular basis. 

It could be playing tennis, or doing a breathwork session, or even taking a walk somewhere new. 

Cultivate love through everyday habits

There you have it, my friends — 7 daily habits that have transformed my relationship and can do the same for yours. 

I used to chase the high of grand gestures, thinking that they were the key to a fulfilling relationship

But I’ve learned that it’s not about impressing each other with big, bold moves. It’s about the consistent, loving actions we take each day that build a strong, resilient bond. 

When you focus on the day-to-day, love becomes less of a grand spectacle and more of a warm, comforting presence that nurtures you both. 

The best part is, as you start integrating these habits into your life, they become second nature. 

You’ll find that not only do they bring you closer to your partner, but they enrich your own life in beautiful ways, making you a more attentive, appreciative, and loving individual.

So go ahead, adopt these habits into your daily life. Experience the incredible transformation they can bring to your relationship, and in turn, your entire emotional world. 

The love of your life deserves nothing less — and so do you.

Can a relationship coach help you too?

If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.

I know this from personal experience…

A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.

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Tina Fey

I'm Tina Fey, the founder of the blog Love Connection. I've extremely passionate about sharing relationship advice. I've studied psychology and have my Masters in marital, family, and relationship counseling. I hope with all my heart to help you improve your relationships, and I hope that even if one thing I write helps you, it means more to me than just about anything else in the world. Check out my blog Love Connection, and if you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Twitter

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