10 phrases of affirmation your partner desperately wants to hear

I’ve been in enough relationships by now to know that our words have a big impact. Especially on our significant others. 

And while I firmly believe in taking action and demonstrating love, support, and affection, the importance of verbal affirmations can’t be overlooked. 

On a small scale, these words can lift your partner’s mood or give them the courage they need to face a hard day ahead. On a bigger scale, they can reassure, soothe, and deepen your connection as a couple. 

So without further ado, here are 10 phrases of affirmation your partner desperately wants to hear:

1) “I appreciate all that you do.”

I’m sure you’re grateful to your partner. You know deep down that they do a lot for you and you love them for it.

But do they know this? 

You see, it’s so easy to forget to verbalize appreciation. I’ve made this mistake, and have also been on the receiving end of it. 

But when one person feels like they’re going above and beyond but never receives any recognition, it can lead to resentment. 

So, don’t be afraid to let your partner know how grateful you are – they’ll know their efforts aren’t going unnoticed and they’ll feel valued. 

2) “I’m proud of you.”

We all want to make our loved ones proud. 

Think back to when you were a little kid and you drew a picture – your parents saying, “Well done! I’m so proud of you” and then sticking the drawing on the fridge made you feel good. 

And the same applies in adulthood. 

Your partner is likely doing a lot to ensure you both have a good future together. They’re working hard at their goals, but also on themselves and the relationship in general. 

Hearing these four little words would let them know that their efforts aren’t in vain. 

In my own marriage, I’ve come to realize how much my partner needs to hear this – he rarely heard it as a child, and not only does it make him feel great in the moment, but it encourages him to keep going. 

3) “You make me happy.”

Quite similarly to the first point – you know you’re happy, but do they? 

Even if the relationship is smooth sailing and you think it’s obvious that you’re content, it never hurts to verbalize it.

And put it this way:

By letting your partner know that you’re happy, you’re confirming that they’re doing things right. This may help them if they’re prone to overthinking or worrying about the relationship. 

4) “I love how you [specific quality or action].”

Ah, the power of a compliment. 

Sure, you tell your partner when they look good. You compliment their hair or their cute smile. 

But what your partner really wants to hear is how you love their work ethic. Or their moral standpoint in tricky situations. Or how kind they are. 

This tells them that you fundamentally like who they are as a person. 

That’s why you need to be specific and focus on personality traits rather than physical appearance. 

Trust me, it means a lot more. 

I remember an ex told me (like, 12 years ago) that he loved how I always found the silver lining in every situation. I’ve held onto that compliment ever since and whenever I face difficulty, it reminds me to keep going. 

5) “I trust you completely.”

Trust is fundamental in any relationship, and hearing that someone trusts you can make that connection feel much stronger. 

Instead of worrying over whether you truly trust them or are secretly suspicious, your partner will feel a lot of relief from hearing this. 

And it’s not just about commitment and infidelity. 

Trust is feeling secure that your partner will make good decisions. It’s about knowing deeply in your heart that they won’t let you down or ever lie to you. 

6) “You’re my best friend.”

Romantic love is great, but perhaps your partner wants to feel like their connection with you runs deeper…

If you tell them all your fears, dreams, and goals, if you trust them, if you enjoy hanging out with them, they are your best friend. 

Simple as that. 

They’re not just a lover who you meet up with for passionate sex and nothing else. 

So by affirming that they mean more to you than just one role (of boyfriend or girlfriend) you’re letting them know that they’re incredibly important to you. 

7) “I’m here for you, no matter what.”

When my partner was going through a tough time in life, I felt pretty helpless. Physically, there was nothing I could do. 

But I realized that that didn’t matter – what he needed was to know I was there for him. 

When I told him, the floodgates opened. He realized he could talk to me about things that he was holding back on. Things he was ashamed about. 

Just with one simple phrase, he opened up and felt supported. 

Give it a try, even if your partner is in a good place in life, they’ll still appreciate hearing it. 

8) “You’re so important to me.”

We all want to feel needed. 

That’s a given. And even if there’s no question in your mind about how important your partner is to you, it’s good to verbalize it from time to time. 

Remind them that they’re not just another tick on the checkbox of your life – they truly mean something special to you. 

The interesting thing is that when people feel valued and wanted, they tend to make better partners. 

They start stepping up, they want to make you proud, and they want to remain important in your life. 

9) “You make me want to be a better person.”

I don’t know about you, but when I’ve influenced someone positively, it puts me on cloud nine.

Changing someone else’s life is just an incredible thing to do – some would argue that’s our purpose in life, to be a force of good and inspire those we meet along the way.

So if you tell your partner this, you can best believe they’ll feel great about themselves. 

Not only that, but it’ll motivate them to keep doing what they’re doing. 

I’ve actually said this to my partner before, once when he stopped to help a random man in the street. He was so patient and kind. 

I noticed that after I told him, he would do it more and more. 

Not to impress me, but because I confirmed to him that he was doing a wonderful thing and he should never change that part of his personality. 

10) “I love you, just the way you are.”

And finally, the best gift you can give your partner is the reassurance you love them unconditionally – flaws, warts, and all. 

This is what everyone craves, to be fully accepted. 

And if your partner is insecure or suffers from feeling unworthy, this will mean a lot to them. 

Who knows, by mentioning this, you may inspire them to start loving themselves more, too. 

So, I hope you find these phrases useful. Ultimately, being conscious of your words and not holding back from expressing your love is crucial in keeping that close connection with your partner. 

And if you find it hard to verbalize these types of things?

Write it in a note or send them a message. They’ll know it comes from the heart.